`` close to home {matt}

[Queen Susan Pevensie]

Half-sliding, half-staggering, she made her way down the steep incline. The snow was knee-deep in places, making it hard to identify the icy patches that gave her more trouble than it was worth. For the dozenth time in recent minutes, she slipped on one of those icy sections and fell onto the cushioning snow. As she had every other time, she pushed herself up again, back onto her feet, and continued down the slope, ignoring the icy bite that came each time her skin touched the snow. It was cold, incredibly so, yet she had almost become used to it, used to this winter that seemed, as the Witch claimed, never ending.

Her hooded head tipped up as she paused, her blue eyes squinting against the bright light. It was very nearly visible through the leaf-less trees. A single, snow-covered spire, perhaps, nothing more. But she needed to see more, needed to know that something of her past still remained untouched - well, perhaps not completely untouched - when everything else had changed. Slowly, she tore her gaze away from the horizon and set off again down the steep hill, her head bowed and shoulders rounded, a picture of defeat.

Somewhere ahead of her was her companion, the one remaining free being in her life. She could hear him fighting his way down the slope, just as she was, and wondered whether this had been such a good idea. Oh, at the time, at the top of this slope, it had felt right; she'd been overcome by the need to see her old home one more time, no matter the danger, no matter the cost. When everything had been torn away from her - family, friends, and allies - she'd thought that she'd never survive such a loss. But now... now she worked harder than ever to find those who had been lost to her.

Countless days had passed since she'd last seen her sister or brothers. She'd tried counting at first, but had lost count in the hundreds. So much time had passed since then; had it been months? Years? Why, she had no idea how old she was any more. But this was not so bad, not as bad as it must be for Peter and Edmund... maybe even Lucy, for she had no idea if her sister had been caught during all this time. And now she was risking capture to see a place that could only bring more pain upon herself when she ought to be searching for Lucy and their allies.

A sigh escaped the Queen's lips. She'd been searching for many months, years even. Either they had gone so far underground that no one could find them or they had all been captured. It had always been her hope that it was merely the former, but she had begun to fear that it was the latter, which meant that she and Matthew could be the last of the resistance. In many ways, she simply wanted to give up. She was wearing thin after so long of being on the run, with no safe shelter, chased by the Witch's trackers. But if they were the last, how could she give up? It would be disrespectful to the others' memories.

The bottom of the slope loomed nearer. At last. Upon reaching level ground, Susan turned to her companion, giving him an apologetic look. "Perhaps... this was not the best idea," she admitted, feeling torn. She wanted so badly to see her home again, just this once. Then she might lose this feeling of defeat, of giving up, of surrendering...

[matt]

Matthew was ahead of Susan as he was trying to fight his way through the deadly slope. He shivered, pulling his cloak tighter around his body. Of course this was nothing. He had above average body warmth than a human with him being a werewolf. But he had to keep up with appearances of course. Peter was the only Pevensie who knew his ordeal and actually how he got turned into a werewolf. And he had to keep his distance from other people when the time came to transform. But it was hard, he would sometimes transform when he lost his temper. And he had that almost happened to him before.

His sea green eyes pierced the drifting snow and the ever increasing wind. His gaze remained straight ahead, it was also stony as well. There was a hint of sadness in his eyes. He wandered where his family was and if they had managed to get out. It had been over two years since he had seen them. A small moan escaped from his lips as his eyes teared up. He nervously played with the wedding ring on his finger. He was surprise he had managed to stay away from them this long without going insane. But that would probably happen soon.

Don't worry, Matthew thought. I'm coming kids. I'm coming. He had promised them no harm would come upon them. And he felt like he had failed. A sob escaped his lips. He had indeed gone crazy...but how crazy was the question. The look was replaced by a hint of determination. I will kill Jadis personality, he thought. She has taken to much away from me. My mother and brother....and now my home and family. Cair Paravel was like another home to Matthew. He lived there with his family while protecting the kings and queens of old.

Matthew turned around and sighed in relief. Susan was now right beside him. There was a small smile on his face as he spoke, "You did what you had to your majesty," he replied. "I myself would have done it either way...just to make sure my family is alright." Akira....David...Abigail....I will find you. And hold you in my arms, making sure that you are alright. He turned around and reached out, gently hugging the queen.

"We will beat Jadis your majesty," Matthew told her. "We will get Narnia back. And I will get my revenge for all she had done to my family. I will make sure of it," although, Matthew wasn't sure he would ever beat Jadis when it comes for a battle. He had been given a bit of her power, but that was by accident. He sighed, his gaze now dark as he glanced ahead. "Do you need any help your majesty?" he inquired.

Even though they weren't kings and queens of Narnia, Matthew would still address them at such. That's who he served. He would never dare answer to a self styled queen of Narnia. Queen? he thought. Jadis doesn't deserve to be queen of Narnia. She doesn't deserve to be queen period. His thoughts returned to his brother and his family. They're probably gloating right now, he thought with a scowl. That was so like Soren to gloat. Coming out of his thoughts he turned to Susan. "Are we ready to go on?" he asked, his voice raspy.

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[Queen Susan Pevensie]

Comfort. It had become an unknown concept over all this time. There was little to assuage their fears, their worries. Hopes were dashed, despair festered like an untreated wound, and depression seemed an almost constant companion. There was little that logic, her greatest ally, could do for her when it became so very hard to continue on. The little fears had grown; would she ever find her family again? Had they been defeated? Was there any point in continuing to fight on? That last question had nearly gotten her on many occasions, but she knew that there was no point in sharing that particular fear; Matthew, she knew, would continue on no matter what. Perhaps, someday long into the future, when she had children of her own, she would have that determination, but now... she was losing it...

His assurances did little to calm her fears, but his presence was helping. Once again she felt like a child when he gently hugged her; it was all she could do not to cry. Yes, she had to keep going; she owed it to Matthew not to give up, not until they found his family at the very least. No, not even then. She owed it to the Narnians not to despair. She had to fix this terrible winter, bring her people into the spring that they so very much deserved. Biting her lower lip to keep herself from crying, she nodded in agreement with what he said. Ah, if only they could find a way to allow him to have his revenge. Then things would be all right once more, once Jadis was defeated.

It seems so awfully far away... she despaired once more. The Witch was very strong, controlling everything. It would take a long time, a very long time indeed, to get her off the throne. But they would, eventually, no matter the cost to her. Her despair turned to determination. Yes, she'd do this for her family, for her friends, for her allies, for Matthew and his family. For every being that was being subjugated in this terrible winter. His voice cut across her thoughts, and she shook her head. No, she'd be fine, just as long as she did not allow her mind to stray to such defeatest thoughts.

No matter how long they had travelled together, despite the danger of being overheard by enemies, Matthew always insisted on calling her by her royal title. Though he didn't know it, it aided her, kept her strong. For as long as one person thought her a Queen of Narnia, then she must persevere. Her clothing might not be the fine things she had worn in Cair Paravel, her hair might be ragged, her skin may be worn by the experiences of these recent times, but she was still a Queen. Once a King or Queen of Narnia, always a King or Queen of Narnia. It was still true, even now.

Hope fluttered like a butterfly just out of reach. Perhaps a sight of her old home would allow that hope to come within reach. "Yes; let's go," she answered, her voice brisk and determined. Maybe there was some clue to be found at Cair Paravel that would allow them to find the resistance. Just as long as the Witch's wolves were not there, it would be a peaceful reunion. Hopefully there would be some supplies that they could take to provision their continued wanderings. Feeling slightly better, she took ahold of her skirts and set off with an energetic pace down a trail that she used to know well.

[matt]

Ah, there was that spark of determination in Susan's voice. Matthew couldn't hep but to chuckle as he let the gentle queen take the lead. He let her go ahead for a while before he started to walk. In the young man's place was a black werewolf with dark green eyes. Matthew felt better as he continued to stroll in the deep snow.

His paws sinking constantly into the snow. A whimper escaped from his throat, followed by a growl as he thought he saw a shadow crossing his path. He bared his teeth, but thought the better of it. His duty was to protect the queen forever. And he really didn't want Peter coming after him. The thought surprisenly made him smile as he picked up his clothes in his teeth and followed. While it was a bother to transform, it helped in the long run.

He had more strength as a wolf and he could be able to withstand the cold and harshness more than normal humans. Plus he could communicate with the other wolves, but he couldn't with the other humans. And he suppose he would have to tell Susan, which was why he walked in front of her, blocking her path. He let his calm and green gaze fell on her face before turning around and bounding off.

After he transform and his clothes were on, he re-joined Susan with a regretful look. "There is something I have been hiding from you your majesty," he spoke regretfully still. He turned his head to the side for a minute before turning it back. "My family was attacked by Jadis after my mother left my father," there was the wolf-like growl ripping from his throat. "My brother, who is still alive and working for her, was taken and Jadis herself told me he was dead. She attacked me before leaving...."

His voice trailed off a bit as he took a moment to calm his anger down. Once he was sure he was calm did he continue. "I was found in the forest, wounded. One of the wolves, who is still on Aslan's side, had found me and changed me. I was then introduced to Aslan and King Peter and well...that was how it was started. The black wolf was me," he sighed. A troubled look came across his face. "Akira doesn't know. I don't want my own wife to know that I'm....a monster," he still thought of himself as one.

"Shall we continue?" he inquired, wanting to change the subject. Then, without a warning to Susan, he whirled around and rushed ahead a few miles before turning back to wait for Susan. His anger was calming slightly. He bit down on his lower lip, wandering if he did the right thing by telling Susan. Well...she had to know one way or another and what better way to tell her? The question came sarcastic in his mind. Matthew growled to himself. My family better be alright and safe, he thought. His form was still as he stared straight ahead.

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[Queen Susan Pevensie]

As she forged along, leaving a trench of disturbed snow in her wake, she didn't notice that her companion had fallen behind. So focused was she on her task that she did not realise that there wasn't a second sound of a struggling human working his way through the deep snow. All of this would be so much easier without the deep snow, she noted. The cold was survivable, if a person kept moving, but the snow made that task quite difficult. It was for that reason that she wore so many layers, in the hopes of staying warm even when she had to stop.

To check on Matthew, she half turned back, but could not see him, nor was there any sign of his trail. How odd. Had anything happened to him, she would have heard it. Perhaps he had just gone off into the trees to either side. Yes, that must be it; he'd gone to check if anyone was following them. Nonetheless, as she turned back to continue on, she felt a knot of worry form in her stomach.

Then, out of nowhere, it seemed, appeared a wolf. It crossed her path, blocked it. Without a second thought, she reached for an arrow - they were strong enough to use as hand-held weapons if need be, though she was running low on those that Father Christmas had given her - and then hesitated. The wolf's gaze was calm, not the bloodthirsty attitude that the Witch's wolves had, and it seemed familiar somehow. She let her hand drop from her quiver as the creature bounded off, though she did not take her eyes off of it until it was out of sight.

Matthew? she frowned slightly as he came into view. It was dangerous for them to be off on their own, especially so close to Cair Paravel. If any of the Witch's wolves showed up, she didn't know if she'd be able to fend them off on her own, as she wasn't particularly skilled with swords and the like, nor did she even have one. Her bow was useful for distance, yes, but wolves were not easy targets to hit.

Her companion began to speak. He spoke of Jadis' continued atrocities upon both him and his family. How he was changed... It was like that for every family now, it seemed. The White Witch attacked everyone, threatened families and friends to make people cooperate, and left a trail of blood wherever she went. Susan smiled sadly as he mentioned not wanting his wife to know, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I understand, Matthew," she said quietly. "But it's not your fault. It's Jadis', and we'll get our revenge on her for what she has done."

All of a sudden, he whirled o ff, running far from her. He seemed ashamed of himself, and Susan knew that it would be hard to convince him otherwise. She, too, understood shame. If she could not rid herself of it, how could she expect to help Matthew? Perhaps once they managed to find her brothers and sister, he'd change his mind, once they rid the world of Jadis once and for all. With a sigh, she followed his trail, hoping that the tracks would not be obliterated before she could catch up to him. It would do them both good to find their families and friends again, if they were all still alive. The least she could do was find his wife and children; Susan didn't know whether her siblings were still alive, even. Maybe if he could find his hope again, she might as well.

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[Thalia Earlshire]

As pure as the white lily
Yet tainted by the blood that came

The snow irritated her. Big time. It was a constant reminder of what was not, and what had happened. Reminded her that the Ice Queen reigned in a place that wasn't hers at all, and that her most beloved friends were trapped in the dungeon, with her helpless to save them.

And what had happened with Lucy didn't help at all. Thalia's grip on her reins tightened, and with annoyance and anger, the girl spurred her gold stallion in to a full gallop, wondering that if she galloped enough, would she ever return to those days? The spring and summer where she was still the playful, the cheeky Thalia Earlshire? Who loved her godparents and escaped from classes just to frolick in the fields?

Of course, thats impossible, yet hope and wishes were probably the only thing that kept Thalia going these days. The girl had been anguished when Lucy had been taken away, but she knew better then to crack. She couldn't. She wouldn't. If anything, that was the last thing she was going to do. But at least for now, she needed to just get away from everything. One ride was all Thalia wanted. To get everything sorted out in her head and find something, some way to get everything back in place now.

Right here, right now
I promise you somehow.

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The hooves thundered across the powdery snow, the stallion's powerful flanks heaving as he carried his mistress across the grounds, Thalia's own hazel brown curls flying as the wind hit her face. Her cheeks had turned pink with the cold, but she barely noticed the biting temperature on her bare skin, and just rode, and rode.

Finally tired out, her stallion slowed, and then stopped with a heavy sigh, and paced. Only then did Thalia look up from her trance, and eyes fell upon the looming castle so familiar to her. Cair Paravel.

Her chest tightened, and Thalia bit her lip, determined not to show a single sign of weakness. Yet the sight of the glorious castle still standing proud despite being cloaked in a shroud of white gave her hope, let her stay strong, for she knew, she was sure one day, everything would be fine again. It had to be. Thalia would settle for nothing less.

Knowing Dawn was worn out, the girl got off, and then kissed her stallion on its neck, slipping off its bridle before letting her beloved steed wander. Dawn was the last left of her earlier life, and she treasured him like a mother would its child, and she knew the stallion would never wander from her.

Bridle left hanging from a branch, the girl approached the snow-covered castle, her steps slow and sure-footed in the white carpet adorning the ground as she walked. And then voices reached her ear. Wary, Thalia reached for the broadsword hanging by her waist, something she carried constantly ever since the war. But slowly, as the person with those voices came in to view, the girl's grip on her hilt slacked, and then her jaw dropped. A wolf, a black one to be exact, had just ran away. But the one that caught her attention was the one with hair so like Peter's, a lady she knew well.

"Queen Susan." the girls voice was breathless, and a little unsure. Could she be dreaming? Or did she lived in a fantasy world? Lucy and her had searched for the Pevensies eldest girl for years, 2 years to be exact, but had never unearthed anything. How ironic was it, that the moment Lucy was gone, Thalia would stumble over Susan? Yet, the girl herself still couldn't believe it. Mistrust bellied her own hope, and just to be sure, the girl took one step closer, just enough so she would be in ear-shot of the Gentle Queen, and questioned, her tone soft.

"Queen Susan?"

Lurking within time that never stops
Memories I can't return to drift around me

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ooc;; no idea if they would be all that close as friends. For you to decide. [/size][/blockquote]

[matt]

Matthew turned around and paused for a minute, letting Susan get caught up. He was ashamed of himself and he backtracked to Susan, standing at her left side. "I'm sorry for the way I acted," he muttered to her. He bit down on his lip. How can he explained that he wanted to stay away from people? He didn't tell his family, not wanting to feel like the monster he was. He had killed people before in his wolf form. He ducked his head, his ears pricked forward, hearing the delicate footsteps of a woman. His left hand went to his sword hilt, lightly pressing it against the handle.

"Queen Susan?"

His sea green gaze rested on the lady. Matthew shifted, not trusting his instincts that the woman was for Narnia. But he titled his head to one side, curious all of a sudden. Did he know who she was? Even after all the years of living in Cair Paravel, he still didn't know who everyone was. He spent most of his time training with the guards and his family. Before the war he had spent time in the council meetings. "You know, you should introduce yourself first before talking to her majesety," A low warning growl built up in his throat. His voice somewhat huskey. He was going to play the question game first.

He shifted his feet so they were a few inches apart from each other. One hand was behind his back and the other rested on the hilt of his sword. He couldn't help the way he was acting. But what happened before in the past had brought him not to trust other people. And of course for what he was. He had long feared people rejecting him if they knew he was a werewolf. There was a rather grim smile on his face as a harsh wind blew past them. His blonde hair ruffled. It was getting rather long again but he didn't care now.

It was all about learning how to survive, not about keeping up with appearances. But he will worry about that when Jadis was defeated once and for all. Then everything could be normal again. Back to where they were before. He missed those days. And he missed his family. His ears pricked forward again, thinking that he had heard his name being called and te sounds of crunching snow. I'm imagining things again, he thought to himself, his gaze falling on the young woman again. Matthw shifted his position again.

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[ooc: there we go I finally managed to post. matt doesnt trust people easily and i dunno whether or not to bring akira in yet]

[Queen Susan Pevensie]

Left alone, wading through the deep snow, waiting for something, anything, to happen to break through the monotony that had become life. It was so easy to give up hope, and she seemd to be going through cycles of giving up hope and gaining hope again, one after the other, minute to minute, neverending. Was it worth continuing on? Was it worth fighting anymore? Questions like these plagued her, and there were no answers for them, not yet.

A smile touched her lips again as she spotted Matthew returning. If they managed to win Narnia back, she would be forever grateful for his company. Without his support, she would have given up hope many months ago. They had both gone through so much - growing older, fighting off the witch's wolves, travelling hopelessly, being seperated from their families. She would not forget the sacrifices he had made when he had followed her out of the mess that had come upon the return of Jadis.

"It's fine, Matthew, really," she told him. This life was not one she would have wished upon anyone. Hopefully they'd find a way out of it soon, a way to get some peace at last. Even if it was just a safe place to sleep, to stay... it would be enough. Enough for a while, until some other danger forced them from safety again. And again. As it always did.

A voice called her name. Not just her name, but her title. Queen Susan. She had not heard that from anyone except Matthew in a very long time. This voice, though, this voice belonged to a woman. It was familiar. Memories from before this great winter dredged themselves up, trying to place it. It was not a voice that brought fear, but one that brought - at last - some lasting hope. Fearful of allowing her hopes to be dashed, she turned slowly, not sure who she was expecting to see.

For a long while, she stared openly. Her throat constricted; words couldn't form. Distantly, she heard Matthew offer a sort of threat, demanding to know who it was. No, this wasn't someone that needed to be threatened. This was an ally, a friend, a believer in free Narnia. For all she knew, this was the leader of the current resistance along with Lucy.

Thalia.

An arm moved out, cautioning Matthew. "It's Thalia," she whispered. Though she wanted to run up to the other woman, she had to be careful. There was a chance - albeit small - that Thalia had gone over to the Witch's side. Many did. It was a way to stay alive, to stay safe. Susan couldn't fault anyone for doing so, as long as they forsook that side when the time was right. Nonetheless, she could not help but feel a heat grow within her, a joy that she hadn't felt in a very long time.

"Thalia?" she asked, taking a somewhat hesitant step closer. How she wished that there was some code word or phrase they could use to know if the woman on the hill was still for Aslan, even after Aslan had seemingly abandoned them. But the need for comfort was too great. She wanted to know what had happened, where everyone was, who was still alive. Her smile, which had disappeared in the shock at seeing a friendly face once again, returned and grew.

Her caution, her sense abandoned her. This was her friend. It may have been years since they had seen each other, but friendship lasted longer. "Thalia!" she called, staggering up through the snow, resisting the laughter that wanted to bubble up within her. Oh, it was silly, but she hadn't felt such joy in so long! Upon reaching the other woman, she practically threw herself on her, wrapping her arms around Thalia. "It's good to see you again," she said.

ooc; sure, they can be friends. xD it lets susan go crazier.

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[Thalia Earlshire]

Then, how far do we have to struggle along before we arrive
At the memories of that faraway day?

The man whom had dissapeared earlier had returned, and apparently, didn't seem to trust Thalia as much, which came as no surprise to the girl. Afterall, with the times they were in, one couldn't be too careful. And in actual truth, Thalia was actually quite pleased with his guarded personality. It would also mean that Susan has been well protected for these past two years.

"You know, you should introduce yourself first before talking to her majesety,"

She smiled, a simple one, a gesture quite odd in return to a warning growl, before Thalia bobbed her head in an acknowledgement, and replied, the reply more of a way to satisfy the guard of his request then anything, for Thalia hoped that Susan still remembered her. It had been 2 years though, does she? "Thalia, Thalia Earlshire." her voice gentle as she replied, reaching out to stroke her stallion's neck as the strong mount came up next to her. Dawn was never known to trust people, the man with his broadsword even more so for the stallion. The golden head was tossed warningly in the air, cream mane flowing like a silver river, yet the stallion calmed down easily enough with a simple stroke and gentle murmuring from Thalia, before the girl stepped forward.

Because the light we'd found
In the days that darkened in injury
Shines on a single destination

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Relief she didn't know she had been holding back blossomed within her chest when Susan held out an arm to restrict her companion's advances. She remembered her, that was a good sign. But was the Gentle Queen alright? Had the 2 years wore the Narnian Sovereign down any? Thalia couldn't help but worrying, yet the joy was evident in her features as she walked even closer to Susan.

"Thalia?"

A small, soft laugh was elicited from Thalia when she heard that, and the girl nodded. "Yes, Thalia. And no your Majesty, you're not hallucinating." she replied, a lighthearted tone infiltrating her words as she did so. Thalia did it on purpose, wanting some of that old light-hearted banter between them to return, for it was one of the many little things the lady had missed. Did Susan still share the same goal as they all? Of course she did, of that Thalia had no doubt. It was her siblings, and her country, why would she not? Yet the one thing she did doubt, was if Susan still trusted her?

Laughter came at once, laughter long forgotten when Susan came forward and wrapped her in an embrace, a gesture Thalia instantly responded with one of her own, revelling in the feel of familial warmth long forgotten ever since that fateful war. "And I share the same sentiments." Thalia replied to Susan's greeting, before pulling back, a cursory glance over the Gentle Queen telling her that she was no worst for wear, if not thinner and looking much more mature from the last time Thalia saw her. "Where have you been? Lucy and I have been turning over every rock and stone for you! She'll be..." and the girl trailed off, the sadness that had gripped her heart so profoundly returning to her features.

Thalia had just been about to say how Lucy would be overjoyed to see her eldest sister. The sight of Susan alone would have been able to rekindle the spirit within the youngest Queen, a fire that had been steadily decreasing as the years went by. But Thalia remembered with a start, that Lucy had just been captured, naught but a few days ago. With a careful look up at Susan, Thalia bit her lip, a sign of undeterminance in her mind, before she phrased her words carefully. "S-Susan? I-Lucy got... taken away by the wolf. Barely 2 days ago." she said quickly, wanting to get the words out as soon as possible, before the girl gave a carefuly, obviously regretful look up at Susan, eyes filled with the pain she knew Susan would feel. "I'm sorry."

No matter how long it takes, we wait
Because the dream that we're always embracing in our hearts

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